Bill Oddie was in intensive care in a Mexico City hospital last night, having been struck down with a new virus which he unwittingly created.
Scientists have identified the new strain, xr3i and say that the man and swine flu viruses have mutated into each other, which in itself is no problem whatsoever. The problems begin when bird flu is introduced and that makes it possibly the most dangerous disease since the plague.
All European leaders have called an emergency summit and America is on defcon 4.
Senior political observers have warned unnecessary panic will break out and lots of pictures of oriental people in masks will be on the news.
The new virus came about when Bill, already suffering from man flu, was tipped off that a female red tit shagtail, was spotted on the outskirts of Mexico.
It was in a Mexican train station when he opened his packed lunch, and its thought that his ham sandwich must have caught swine flu off a passing agricultural train.
When Bill finally caught up with the red tit shagtail, he couldn't believe his luck when he found the nest, and from a respectfull distance, observed her feeding her young. He stayed downwind of the nest. But this was his downfall as this bird is a carrier of bird flu.
The virus was blown across his hide and within ten minutes his cough was worse and he'd ran out of Kleenex.
A team of Mexican doctors have contained Bill Oddie and are waiting for British doctors to come and tell them what to do.
Bill is expected to make a full recovery by next Tuesday and British scientists hope to have a cure for xr3i by Thursday week.