The England cricket team has decided to go on strike because the cricket ball is 'too hard'. They also believe that opponents have been bowling 'too fast and straight' and that they could get their trousers dirty whilst fielding.
One player, who wished to remain nameless so we will call him Kevin, said "I spend weeks away from my wife. And for what? A lousy £100k a tour! I miss my wife so much I'm going straight to South Africa to play in a cricket tournament. Unless the authorities take note and pay me more money I'm going to go straight to my agent."
Another member of the side, known only as Freddie, said "I am injured and can't play much for England. The only cure for my injury is plenty of cash (surely rest?) and as little work as possible."
It will be interesting to see if anyone notices the industrial action. One thing is certain. The team are not going to try an occupation of the crease. However, a chant of "What do we want? A short fine leg and a backward point. When do we want it? In the next over" is unlikely to raise much support.
Geoff Boycott took time out from his Agony Column to comment "My mother never took her pinny off. We even had to bury her in it. They should be ashamed of their behavior. Just greed. Playing for England was an honour. You would never catch me running off to South Africa to play cricket for a large sum of money....oh yeah, you would have caught me."
