Susan Boyle's Boyfriend Hurries To Her Side

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 1 June 2009

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Susan Boyle, who suffered a nervous breakdown after finishing second at the "Britain's Got Talent" contest, has had her old boyfriend rush to her side in London.

Susan, whose location is being hidden at the moment, welcomed her best guy from home with open arms, according to Helmut Glaser from Susan's hometown.

"Susan is a steady wonderful person who loves to sing in the church choir at home and was encouraged to appear on this show. She's not upset about herself finishing second, she is afraid she has let her people at home down and I've come here to tell her, she's still #1 in the hearts and minds of her family and friends back home in Scotland."

Helmut, who is a German immigrant, apparently captured the heart of Susan over the years at the church where they both attend.

"Here I've been afraid to commit myself to being engaged to this wonderful gal because..well.. I didn't think I was good enough for her and look at the difference in our ages."

"Still, when I heard about what had happened I ran right over and I'll do anything she wants me to do. I'll marry her and we'll settle down in Scotland or, if she really wants to record and sing her songs in that beautiful voice of hers, I'll be right there as her #1 supporter."

"She doesn't have to leave here until SHE decides. I don't care what Mr. Cowell says, it's up to my Susan. I don't think she dislikes Mr. Cowell so much, it's just that she's got all swept up in all this glamour, and she's a hometown girl, not used to all this attention."

"I think if people wouldn't push her, she'd love to sing to the world. But let's keep the pressure off, OK?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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