Written by Earl Grey

Saturday, 25 April 2009

image for Thousands March Against Animal Testing
Somebody Had Failed To Do Their Latin Homework

Thousands of protesters descended on London today to oppose the Government plans to test animals. Following fears that the country is becoming overcrowded the government decided to impose strict tests on animals.

Horses will now be asked their times tables. Cows will be expected to know the periodic table. Cats and dogs will need to brush up on their French conversation.

Protesters think that this is unfair. John Cole of the Nova Mews Residents Against Animal Testing said "It's always the same. Things are going wrong. Hang on. The animals don't have a vote. So we can do what ever we want to them. Well I'm not going to let this happen. I'm against animal testing. Would they do it to humans?..........They do?........Well, so what?"

A government spokesperson said "We don't mind people protesting. As long as they are robust and can stand up to a good kick in."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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