Written by The Blunt Pencil

Friday, 24 April 2009

image for Midlands Police Solve Body-Parts Mystery - NHS Accused of Fly-Tipping!
Some unidentified Body-Parts found at a popular fast-food Dumping area!

Police forces in the Midlands and Hertfordhire are congratulating themselves today after finally uncovering the mystery behind a series of body-parts found dumped in the countryside!

Chief of Police: Bill Flatfoot announced that after several weeks of exhaustive work by the combined forces across 2 counties the case was solved. Suspicions were raised when 3 left legs, all confirmed as belonging to the same man by DNA testing, were traced to a hospital in Hertford. "We managed to identify the MRSA super-bug to this particular hospital and found they were running an illegal cloning department" said Flatfoot.

Cloning is illegal in the UK, but the police investigation has exposed several doctors were experimenting with stem-cell regeneration and cloning techniques outlawed since March 2005.

Flatfoot went on to say, "We caught them on CCTV disposing of the unwanted limbs at a local fly-tipping spot yesterday, 2 arseholes were thrown into a ditch and a left arm tossed from an ambulance window gave us all the evidence we needed".

SOCO officers were still at the Hertfordshire hospital this morning and were seen carrying out bags of earholes and belly buttons for further forensic tests.

Following the Budget on Wednesday, Chief Inspector Flatfoot has instructed a new search centred on the Cabinet Meeting room at 10 Downing Street after a tip-off raised the possibility of a whole load of Dicks lead by two more arseholes could well be hidden there!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: NHS, body parts, Midlands




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