Breaking news from Broke Britannia - A wrinkly old fart of a cleaner at the UK's Wigan University, Donald Skoob 97, today told us that he'd finally found out who Miley Cyrus is.
The doddery old git, who smelled quite strongly of urine and boiled cabbage told us:
"I always wondered who Miley Cyrus was, then I saw a movie countdown on the television, and all of a sudden, there she was. Large as life. Hannah Montana."
We asked the doddery old fart from a safe distance, on account of the overwhelming stench of piss and cabbage, how he heard of Miley Cyrus in the first place?
He told us:
"I started writing stories for a website called TheSpoof.com. They weren't good stories, a bit crap really, but my GP told me to try to do something creative to combat the senility. I'm not much cop at knitting, and gardening's out on account of the hay fever, so I started doing these spoof things. At first there were loads of stories about Miley Cyrus and Brenda Song, Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron, and I had no idea who they were. So I started writing semi pornographic stuff instead. Now I know who these people are. And that Zac Efron bloke's head is more empty than even mine is! How about that? Waheyy!"
At which point the stench became too much so we made our excuses and left.