Parkinson attacks Goody

Funny story written by Johnny Cool

Tuesday, 7 April 2009


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Broadcasting legend Sir Mickey Parkinson has attacked Jade Goody, days after her funeral. Speaking to the TV Times, he said the reality TV star represented: "all that's crap about Britain today".

He added that she was "a whore" and "shameless" and despite being dubbed 'the Essex primark princess', was more like a pig with lipstick with her tits out.

He said: "When we clear the media smokescreen from around her death, what we're left with is a talentless whore who came to represent all that's crap about Britain today. She was brought up in a sink, as a child came to know both drugs and prostitution, who stole regularly from her cornershop, and deceived the public by selling products which were not fit for purpose - pig perfume and a fitness video on how to tone up like a pig.

The 74-year-old added: "What bothers me is that the media first of all recommended we hate Jade Goody - 'a slapper with a face like a pig', remember? - and thereafter tried to persuade us to celebrate her good looks and intelligence."

Jade's publicist and friend Cliff Maxford said: "I'm very sad and surprised and have never liked the bastard."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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