Written by Leonardo Picasso

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

image for Artworld Adrift in Shitty Artists
Inter dimensional toilet bowl descending on Art world

Fine Art Reporting Team - SMEARGATE, Santiago Sierra's shit blocks , Sotheby's selling Manzoni's canned caca from the seventies, Gilbert & George illuminated Crap Scapes. It just seems to go on and on. Is nothing tethered down in the Art world. What in hell is going on. Enough already.

"Get your head out of your ass" cry out the International Curators Consortium meeting in London last weekend in an emergency meeting intended to shift the shit, so to speak.

The use of shit in art goes back a to the early cave men and women and especially babies. Before the discovery of ochre and other natural earthy pigments, our ancestors used excrement. However, on the completion of new cave paintings the inhabitants where forced to retreat to another cave. "The substance did not have the holding power of natural earthy pigments and so much of the shitty cave works faded over the long periods of exposure to bacteria and poo eating beetles.

In an effort to take the focus away from the anus, governments worldwide have agreed to bail out artists adrift in shit, in hopes they will turn there attention to using more conventional and durable materials.

Damien Hirst meanwhile is said to be working on a diamond incrusted turd entitled "In the absence of moral judgement, a diamond log leads the way".

The work is to be floated down the Thames as part of an Art and Waterways exhibit funded by the British Toilet Society.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Art, Damien Hirst




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