Dramatic revelations here from downtown Dudley as an unidentified youngster accused Spoof Writer par excellence, Hull City Fan, and deadpan raconteur Monkey Woods of biting the head off his pet hamster.
"He did" the kid alleged. "He bit the head off my hamster. He had the smell of the drink on him, and he just picked up Cristiano (the hamster) and bit his head off. Just like that, as the Cooper fella used to say. Made me feel sick, and I don't mind saying so."
Upon further investigation, the accused, one Monkey Woods, formerly of Hull, but currently residing in the West Midlands told thespoof.com:
"I've been stitched up here. These charges are all just wrong. I haven't bitten the head off any hamster. I wouldn't ever countenance committing such an act."
Lurking outside the famed Spoofer's residence, an inferior writer for thespoof.com who asked not to be named (Skoob1999) told us:
"We have to get rid of him somehow. His ready wit and endearing charm are putting the rest of us to shame.
More as we get it
