London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): PR guru Max Cliff-Hanger has been ordered to take out emergency insurance cover against 'an Act of God' on Friday's Spring Equinox that could result in his top client being upstaged by the RIP of that other tragedy queen Old Fatty Mountbatten.
Jade Goody, 27, fears that 'some apocalyptic force' might be behind her getting unjustly knocked off tabloid headlines.
Last week internet spread betting site Aintgottaprayer.con started offering 11/10fav on the old IRA queen's demise this weekend.
This resulted in a flurry of BBC newsreaders being told to wear funerary garb during all the major daily bulletins "just in case".
"Of course it could well be a double whammy on Mother's Day," the betting site's spokesman said today.
"In which case of course Jade will still be an also ran.
Shilpa Shetty is an immortal goddess.
