Thloyds, the well known Welsh bank, is now mainly owned by The British Government after it was stimulated by placing a large brown envelope in the inside pocket of it's Chairman Sir Victor Blank (yes, that's his real name).
He spoke to the press after receiving his envelope, shortly after the St Albans MP, Anne Main, had lead a Westminster Hall debate on skills and training for the British curry industry.
Mt Blank, with an obvious expression on his face said "Well we used to be owned by the Rothschild's, but now they've slipped an intermediary in between them and us, being the British Government.
As far as we are concerned, it's business as usual. We will continue to make it as difficult as possible for our customers to achieve anything, especially if they want to withdraw or transfer money. Once money is deposited in our bank, we look after it as our own, which it is, because we never give it back.
We will continue to obey Lord Rothschild, whose messages are now encoded for passing through the British Government."
He want on to explain that the insurance part of the group would make huge profits this year, because shipping losses are extremely low when there are no ships going anywhere.
Alost Mishirt, one or the previously disgruntled customers said "I think it's velly kind of the Blitish Government to give this money to my bank. Back in my country, the banks give money to the government!". When asked about his future employment prospects, Alost said that he was now a part of the British Aristocracy, as he didn't have to work. While sharing a fat doobie, he advised me to look at the Asylum rules - velly kind.
He said that he thought the TSB label should be dropped from the banks name, because now the dishonesty made it impossible to be a bank Trustee, all Savings had been destroyed by the drop in currency value, it was no longer a Bank because it had been taken over, and also that it made typing the username on emails too cumbersome.
He believed that this "hanging on to history" was the cause of the financial crisis. He was disappointed that the British Government hadn't been able to afford a new house for over one-hundred and fifty years, and that handing over unearned loot like this would never get even one new house, never mind a pair of them, no matter how Common.
