Written by Skoob1999

Friday, 6 February 2009

image for Terry Pratchett - Most Shoplifted Author In History
One Of Tel's Characters Hiding From Shoplifters.

Public Lending Right - whoever they are today released a statement to the effect that the most borrowed book from UK libraries over the past twelve months was : Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows.

However, of far more interest to the kind of people who read or contribute to the Spoof.com is the revelation that Terry Pratchett is the most shoplifted author in the history of the written word.

Pratchett's Discworld series have long been a target for thieves, they've been lifted from libraries, boosted from bookshops, and chavved from charity shops (sorry about that last one - call it journalistic license) to the extent that some bookshops have hired extra security to combat the problem.

The only books tea-leafed more than Pratchett's are The London A-Z, and Ordnance Survey Maps, (which were probably teefed by people with little or no sense of direction) leaving Mister Pratchett as the most 'thieved' author of all time in the UK.

"It's a right pain in the arse when we get a new Pratchett book in," said Chas Choudri, a London bookshop proprietor. "We have to fend off Goths, Punks, Skinheads, Schoolkids, Pensioners, the lot. I suppose you could say that Pratchett is brilliant because he appeals to such a wide range of people. But he's a massive security headache for us."

We rang the esteemed Mr Pratchett for his views on the effect his Discworld series were having on criminality.

But he was having a nap.

Somewhere in Wiltshire apparently.

If we call him back and get a response there'll be...

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
61 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more