Ross Kemp injured in Afghan 'Friendly fire' incident.

Funny story written by Fergus McCarthy

Saturday, 7 February 2009

image for Ross Kemp injured in Afghan 'Friendly fire' incident.
Ross Kemp

Former East Enders actor Ross Kemp has been injured in a friendly fire incident while filming another series of his front line documentary series 'Ross Kemp in Afghanistan'.

Kamp, 44, had been shadowing a team from the rapid deployment Alpha Sec unit when they became involved in a fire fight with Taliban troops.

Commander Terry Sharpe explained how Kemp was caught in the crossfire after troops on both sides ran out of matches and began using automatic weapons.

"Mr Kemp was very unlucky, our chaps were engaging a group of 20 to 25 ragheads that had taken a position in an abandoned school. We had them surrounded and had called in the coordinates for an air strike when one of the soldiers Mr Kemp was with thought he saw a Taliban fighter sneak out of the building and take up a potentially dangerous position behind our line of APC's.

Our man engaged the chappie and fired a couple of shots, one of which unfortunately happened to graze Ross on the inner thigh."

Mr Kemp received a flesh wound to the leg and was immediately transferred to an Army hospital where he has been given the appropriate medical treatment.

No trace has been found of the lone Taliban soldier, the official line is that he probably got scared and ran away. The British soldier involved in the unfortunate 'accident' is being debriefed at a luxury hotel in Kabul before being transferred to a new post somewhere 'nice.'

"All the chaps are desperately upset" Commander Sharpe added, "They'll all really miss not seeing his bright blue Kevlar helmet peeping out over the top of sand bunkers and other hidden positions"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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