Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 15 June 2004

(From Our Man at the Hanover Gate building site, Tuesday). Bailiffs, accompanied by officers of the Metropolitan Police Special Branch, this morning executed a search and evict warrant at Winfield House in the slightly prestigious Outer Circle area of Regents Park and led away US Ambassador Will "Stamps" Farish III and his wife Sarah, allegedly for non-payment of three years of power bills.

Amid scenes of near hysteria from the eyesore building site opposite the ambassadorial residency, construction workers downed tools and chanted "Da Do Ron Enron, Da Do Enron" as a Metropolitan Police Black Mariah whisked the Ambassador and his wife away to a secure interrogation unit in Paddington's Edgware Road, last used as a hospitality suite for Abu Hamza.

Later in the morning, locksmiths arrived and proceeded to change all the security fittings on the buildings, as a police escort supervised a fleet of skip lorries that hauled the Farishes' personal belongings including a Ronald Reagan Tea Set from the Franklin Mint and signed photographs of Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay.

Unconfirmed reports tonight from nearby Queen Mary Hospital for Daft Old Squatters, Dildo Wing (surely Lindo Wing? - Ed) state that Mrs Farish is receiving medication after claiming ownership of a gigantic field of liquid natural gas (LNG) allegedly discovered by her pooch Bushie whilst digging in the grounds of the residency garden.

As anybody who is anybody knows, Regents Park and its entire contents is owned by the Monarch of the UK and, as such, any hydrocarbon deposits located on this land are Her personal property.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Police, Building

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