Man issues ultimatum: Global nuclear threat?

Funny story written by whatinthe world

Friday, 9 January 2009

image for Man issues ultimatum: Global nuclear threat?
Mr Widmouth contemplating the death of mankind

A dustman from West Acton has become so tired and fed up with the lack of peace in the world that he has reverted to strong measures. He has developed his own thermo nuclear device and is now threatening to activate his weapon if there is no cessation to all global conflict by Sunday 18 January 2009.

"I want peace, dammit. So all those morons running around killing each other are now on notice" Billy Widmouth proclaimed. Mr Widmouth doesn't deny the irony of threatening total destruction in his attempts to get world peace. "I just want to scare them" he said. "Give them a bit of a wind up."

As for his nuclear weapon? He bought it second hand from the Israelis over the Internet. Its a 1980s design and is still active, about 120 kilotons.

Mr Widmouth refused to be drawn on why he is threatening global nuclear devastation apart from saying that he felt laying on railroad tracks was a bit old hat. Does he really think he'll carry out the threat if nobody heeds his advice? "Um, yeah, (burp) I might."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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