Champagne imports hit record levels today as news of Baroness Thatcher's alleged demise rocked the city.
'People are really going to push the boat out on this one if the rumours are founded,' said a city trader. 'Especially up north. They'll be dancing in the streets in places like Liverpool, Manchester, and Newcastle.
'The Jocks and the Irish will lap it up too. Not to mention the Welsh, who were almost obliterated under her governance.
'She was a great leader, despite the fact she gave away the railways, killed the coal industry, demolished shipbuilding, provoked unprecedented levels of Irish Republican anti-British activity, scored record levels of unemployment, alienated ethnic minorities and sparked riots in the streets nationwide.
'She looked after us though. Look at Canary Wharf and the DLR.'
A man who'd had his skull seriously fractured in the Orgreave coke plant by a wayward copper's truncheon during the miner's strike said: 'Baroness Bastard Thatcher? I'll drink to that.'
