Under the current Freedom of Information Act, documents released today reveal that Margaret Thatcher was not the child of a simple grocer as she had us believe for her entire reign at No 10. She is in fact the illegitimate daughter of a minor member of the Royal Family (who shall remain nameless to protect current relatives).
Sources close to the Palace confirmed to day that the documents were genuine and stated that "very few people knew at the time".
Mr Thatcher, the grocer, agreed to raise the child as his own to save embarrassment to the establishment.
However in later years as Prime Minister it became apparent as her blue blood shone through, caused her to refer to herself as "WE" she placed herself on a par with Queen Victoria. During the 1980s it was common knowledge in Royal circles that Thatcher considered herself above the present Queen.
Each Tuesday , at her audience with HM Queen Elizabeth 2 Thatcher would apparently sit before the Queen sat, and pick up her handbag ( a sign she is fed up with the conversation) and she would walk out whilst QE2 was still "rambling on" ( as Thatcher once put it)
Thatcher's late husband Dennis was never aware that she was illegitimate although it was once suspected he knew when he was over heard to say " where is the old bastard" when looking for Margaret at the nineteenth hole at Gleneagles.
When asked to comment earlier today Lady Thatcher simply said "we are not amused and carried on dancing with her hair tied in a knot under her chin until the nurse put her back in the padded room.