London - (Ass Mess): Wearing a hideous turquoise crimpelene and regurgitated black split-beaver pelt ensemble remoulded from three former Norman Hartnell outfits the Al Qaeda Puppet Monarch arrived in Ljubljana today for the start of a four day slovenly state visit.
Gobsmacked-looking Prime Monster President Ivan Gasparovic and his comely wife Transylvania barely concealed their shock as Old Fatty Mountbatten inspected a military parade, her state-of-the-art Oxfam get-up drawing gasps of nausea from worried onlookers.
The sartorial shock-horror may be a politically correct reaction to the UK's share of the credit crunch, of course.
Earlier this month UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown refused Old Fatty a £32 million bung for 'repairs and redecorations to Buckingham Palace after hearing she'd actually lost a packet in the stock market crash.
Camilla's warts are oozing carbon tetrachloride.