Buckingham Palace - (Northern Rock Bottom Mess): Palace flunkies were out with the smelling salts today after the Queen was told that royal bank Cunts & Co has been nationalised along with its parent company Royal Bank of Snotland.
Old Fatty Mountbatten's daily snorts of medicinal crack cocaine had already hit the roof after Treasury mandarins recently refused to hand over a measly extra £32 million for urgent Buck House repairs.
Today's credit crunch announcement was clearly the last straw.
Flouncing out of a Privvy Council meeting the Al Qaeda Puppet Monarch issued a 24 hour ultimatum to the government to hand back her ill-gotten Colombian cocaine profits bank accounts "or else".
Camilla is a convicted benefits scrounger.
