Written by Reuman Frijj

Thursday, 2 October 2008

image for Escaped Immigrants to destroy climate, claims Daily Rag
ONly the monsterous forigners will be tall enough to breathe

Reports have been confirmed that a number of immigrants have escaped from Oakington Immigration Centre in Longstanton, Cambridgeshire. The men, assumed to be communist by authorities, escaped under the cover of darkness last night.

The Daily Rag has issued severe warnings to all its readers to stay indoors and keep their Range Rovers hidden in the garage. The newspaper's initial report suggested that the escapees were likely to be dangerous.

"Our sources have told us that these filthy foreigners are probably fifteen foot tall and have hunting knives for fingers. If your children look directly at them, gouge their eyes out immediately." reported The Rag's news editor Malcolm Tunbrigde-Wellington. "We also fear that they are responsible for the recent bad weather, and if any more of these gibberish-speaking villains are to step foot on our sacred Britain, the outcome could be irreversible."

Scientists are yet to confirm that the Gulf Stream is being destroyed by giant blade-wielding, mutant foreigners, but in another Daily Rag report it was quoted that "to think otherwise is an insult to the memory of Diana."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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