Missing Canoeists Wife Convicted Of Setting Womble Traps

Funny story written by carina-eta

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

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She should be hanged says Womble lover.

The wife of missing canoeist John Darwin, was today convicted of setting Womble traps in the garden of her Hartlepool mansion.

Anne Darwin, 55, is suspected of killing at least 12 of the cuddly, pointy-nosed little litter gatherers over a period of 5 years, after charred Womble-bones were discovered in the debris of her compost heap.

Police became suspicious of her immaculate garden after visiting her following her arrest for aiding and abetting her husbands life insurance fraud. An officer noticed what has been described as a "recently baited Womble trap" at the rear of her home consisting of a metal spring trap loaded with old papers, empty tin cans and assorted "useful" rubbish.

Mrs Darwin, sentenced to 6 years and 3 months for the insurance fraud, broke down when officers confronted her with several articles of small clothing, including a little waistcoat and hat.

Her two sons are said to be "devastated" by the revelations that their own mother has been slaughtering their favourite childhood characters.

"She's a monster," said the youngest, Charles.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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