Opposition politicians reacted instantly to newspaper reports of a slew of policy initiatives which were an instant reaction to newspaper reports.
Some of the policies include measures to cut knife crime, initiatives to reduce Amy Winehouse and a strategy to limit the use of S&M by Formula 1 executives.
Opposition politician Lembit Opik said 'I read in the paper that the government were like, doing stuff so I instantly thought that was a bad idea. I am against all this stuff going on. We must stamp out this knee-jerk politics immediately without even listening to the arguments.'
There has been no evidence of the hoofs that were referred to by MP's.