Prospective Rolls Royce purchasers told to be alert

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

image for Prospective Rolls Royce purchasers told to be alert
A suspicious Rolls Royce on offer on ebay for only £45

Potential Rolls Royce purchasers have been warned to remain alert when they purchase their new Rolls, and not just because the world needs more lerts. An influx of Rolls Royce copies, made in Korean sweatshops, are flooding the British market, and would-be purchasers are urged to be extra vigilant, as these fakes are virtually indistinguishable from the real thing.

A spokesman from the company, PR guru Mustapha Bentley explains:

"Although, as with all fakes, there are some tell-tale signs that these cars aren't the real thing, these vehicles are prime examples of Korean copying at its best.

"One sure-fire method of avoiding a fake purchase is to steer away from e-bay 'buy it now' sites where a brand new Rolls Royce is on offer for £6000. This could be a sure sign that the car is not real.

"Only last week, an e-bay bidder picked up a brand new Phantom for £5,300. When it arrived, a first glance seemed to indicate it was perfect. However, upon closer inspection, the stereo was a £39 model from Aldi, there was no cigar lighter and the dashboard dials were all in Korean.

"Final proof of it being a fake was when the owner raised the bonnet to reveal a 1.2litre Dawoo engine.

"Personally, I felt the fibre-glass body and the Ford Fiesta alloy wheels were a dead give-away myself."

Len Dusaquid, chairman of the National Rolls Royce Nearly Owners Club added:

"Purchasers must take extra care when buying their new Rolls Royce. In this day and age of quality fakes, it is almost impossible to distinguish between the real thing without careful examination. This applies to everything.

"Only last week, an acquaintance of mine bought a £23,000 Rolex Diamond Diver's watch from a trader in Huddersfield Market (half-day Wednesday, closed Sundays) for £16. When he got home, he discovered it was actually a "Bollex" watch made in China.

"However, he did have his suspicions when the salesman gave him a tube of superglue and some spare 'diamonds' and warned him that it wasn't water-resistant.

"My pal. He just can't resist a bargain, even if it is a piece of crap."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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