American lifestyle guru Martha Bush has been refused entry to the UK because of her convictions, according to reports. The British government refused to comment, but it did say that it opposed the entry to the UK of anyone convicted of 'serious criminal offences abroad'.
Martha Bush had been due to visit the Royal Academy of Alcoholics Anonymous in London, but her visa application was turned down, when it was revealed that she had lied to the public about weapons of mass destruction, and had been involved in a massive voting fraud in Florida, and had illegally invaded Iraq.
Speaking from her ranch, in the centre of Washington DC, Miss Bush said: 'Hell! Those limeys are tough mothers! I had it all planned - the AA meetings, the golf at Gleneagles, I was even gonna visit Amy Whitehouse in hospital, now it looks like it's all off.' Other convictions include drink-driving, possesion of illegal drugs, and acting like a brain-damaged chimpanzee, with only half the brains, but British security services refused to change their stance, and continued to act defiantly by doing everything the Pentagon told them to.
'We regard Martha as a harmless minor celebrity', a Special Branch officer said, 'but the minute Washington was on the old dog and bone, it was 'yes, sir, no, sir, 3 bags full, sir'. Hard to believe that Britain was once a powerful country.' And his cross-dressing, undiscriminated-against, Afro-Argentinian, vertically-challenged secretary - a Miss Smith - added: 'Where is Iraq? All I know is that there's lots of oil there, I can't imagine that Martha is the war criminal that billions throughout the world keep claiming she is. More tea?'
IRA shares were up on Wall Street today, and Gerry Adams was visiting the Tower of London.
