Fuel Crisis Deepens As Rooney Flies Family To Italian Wedding

Written by carina-eta

Thursday, 12 June 2008

image for Fuel Crisis Deepens As Rooney Flies Family To Italian Wedding
Rooney's Race To Free Picnic

The UK fuel crisis has worsened today following Wayne Rooney's last minute decision to fly his raggle-taggle chavvy gypsy family out to Italy to witness his lavish wedding.

Rooney was estranged from the bulk of his beer-swilling boob-flashing toothless Liverpudlian brood following their media-hungry attacks on his pointless fiancee. However, recent talks with close family members resulted in 14 Boeing 747's being hired to fly out the Rooney clan to Portofino in a last minute reconcilliation.

While Britains queued by the pumps for a the last few remaining drops of petrol priced at £1.32 per litre, tankers were diverted to Heathrow to fuel the jets.

Reports are coming in from Portofino of localised rioting, drunks vomiting in the streets and fat tatooed junkies clogging ebay with pieces of wedding cake.

A beaming Colleen McCloughlin commented," I wore my favourite pair of yellow Top Shop kitten heels teamed with a flowing floral maxi-dress and a cream Paddington bag to accompany Waynes family to the local Italian clink."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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