Canada Dry may be a harmless little ale of ginger. Martini Dry sounds like a thirsty Italian. But the London Dry Metro became a house of horrors. Last night's Farewell to Alcohol Party looked like the worst things could get, all with the vomiting, the urinating, 17 arrests and that was just the royal family.
Now that strong drink is banned from the underground, hells a poppin'!
Metro train driver "Steady hands Eddie Edwards" was weavin and bobbin his train across three sets of track: "I just don't get it...last night at the party my hand was...well steady Eddie as you go!?"
Passengers were no better with icepacks on their noggins and ready to brawl at the smallest affront. One usually happy gent from Potted Plant, Northumberland punched a lifelong mate on the beak for suggesting that they switch to the express.
Lord Mayor Boris Johnson commented for the London Gazette from the back of his stretch limo with built in bar and grill: "I don't see why Londoners can't abstain a bit. Another London Dry martini, driver, if that's what you're drinking!"
