Drunk Elephant just can't forget

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 18 May 2008

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Sam, an Elephant in Dudley zoo just can't forget, despite the fact that he drinks every night.

Sam, an Eight Year Old Bull African Elephant spends his nights out in the Queen's Face pub in the Black Country town. Sam, a popular character amongst the locals drinks anything between 40 and 60 pints a night, and still wanders home to the Zoo.

Zoo-Keeper Mr Fridge Bracket said: 'Sam is a good un, he really is, but at nights he goes out, and comes back steaming drunk, and remorseful for the nights that he has wasted pissed of his head. We have tried nearly everything to help him, but he just won't accept our help or advice these days'

Publican Philip Reeves said: 'Sam is a good customer, and drinks most of th beer we sell, but we don't know where he gets the money from. I mean it is close to £100 a night, and I don't know about you, but I had heard that Elephants these days are only paid in peanuts'.

Sam drinks to forget something, but as an Elephant, to believe the cliché, he can never forget, and as a different species to him, we cannot communicate.

Phil Reeves told us: 'When he gets really steamed, he gets cross, and that is when I threaten him with the Elephant gun. When one of your better costumers is an Elephant, you tend to keep things that are going to keep him in order, aren't you?'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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