London - (Rioters): MI5 spooks have branded Lord Levy's posturings a load of sanitised whoppers after reviewing his security files detailing a 30 year career as one of the UK's top terror mobsters.
"For a start he's the bastard crack cocaine dealing son of that Dame Shirley Porter who gerrymandered her way into selling council houses to the Provos," ex-MI5 top spook Stella Rimington said today.
"His involvement in the Hyde Park bombing and the explosions at the City's Baltic Exchange were just trial runs for the biggie - no, not Omagh - that was Blair and his bastard firstborn David Cameron," her successor Eliza Bullingdon Manor added, "no, the biggie was the flying petrol bombs that wiped out the World Trade Center on 9/11."
Levy has also rebranded himself as the son of a Marquis on the dustjacket of his biography.
How I got away with it by Lord Michael Levy shows just how desperate the wannabe has become.
"His title is Lord Levy," the editor of Berk's Peerage commented.
"If he had a hereditary title he'd be Lord Michael Levy. But he hasn't. He's just clinging to a fantasy. I expect they'll hang him and Blair. Eventually."
