Murderers and rapists on the loose in Parliament after UN loses marbles

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

image for Murderers and rapists on the loose in Parliament after UN loses marbles
Hundreds of the bastards hiding in the Palace of Westmonster

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): A blunder by UN bosses has left known killers, rapists and molestors rampage free years in Parliament according to sources.

"Most recidivists have gone on to reoffend," a Security Council spokesman said today.

This week British police have launched a John Major manhunt to stop the rascals claiming still more victims.

"There has been a massive whitewash cover-up," former Met top cop Lord Stevens said today, "but this scandal's no secret as far as I'm concerned."

Spooks at MI5 said today that the UN had known since 1999 that its computer data discs containing 4,000 DNA profiles linked to serious crimes around the world fell into the hands of organised crime on the day that Tony Blair assumed orifice in 1997.

Interpol had sent the data files to the Security Council's enforcement division back in June 1999 with a request that DNA profiles be compared to all known descendants of Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Pope is XII, Nikita Khruschev, General Pinochet, Rasputin, Lord Haw-Haw, Oswald Mosely, Benito Mussolini, General Franco and a host of other World War II fugitives from jusitce.

The UN then passed on the files to the British Crown Prosecution Service for the urgent checks.

And true to form the CPS helpfully 'lost' the data after Cherie Blair suggested radical new housekeeping procedures.

"We think that up to 500 Members of the Houses of Parliament are on the list of the 4,000 most wanted suspects," Lord Stevens said today.

"Up to 499 have committed new crimes here, including starting wars in Iraq, lying abut George Bush's extensive criminal records, supporting the gagging of criminal probes like the BAE slush fund fiasco, hiring known IRA hitmen to enter the Lords as bona fide Life Peers and milking the financial sector for handouts to bankroll their political campaigns," Stevens added.

"We could have avoided all this horror if the known felons, a cross-party mixture of UK and foreign nationals, had been rounded up and extradited in the first place," Stevens concluded.

Lord Levy is shitting bricks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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