Written by Everyman

Friday, 21 March 2008

image for Brian Ashton to be used as treatment for hyperactive children
Can Brian Ashton calm today's youth as he does the England team at half time?

Current rugby union England coach, Brian Ashton, is to be used as a new treatment for children who show aggressive and hyperactive behaviour.

A spokesperson for the Department of Health said: "We have watched the way that England have played this season. On a number of occasions the team had started showing energy, aggression and passion. Then, after a half time talk from Brian they came out as meek as lambs. This is clearly a unique gift, and we want to exploit it to calm down our obese, violent and uneducated thugs."

A spokesperson for the English RFU said: "We have been delighted in the way that Brian has calmed down the side when they looked like being dominant after a good first half. Using Brian's gifts to sort out the youth of today will be a very effective way of dealing with the problem and prevent the government having to look into more unpopular ways of dealing with the young alcoholic scamps."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Kids, Chavs, ADD, Brian Ashton

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