London - (DUI Mess): Former royal stand-up comedian and sometime official crack-dealer to Princess Diana Paul Burrell has been recalled by Lord Justice Scott Baker to head the inquest's official Royal Variety Show performance of characters.
The one-off spectacular will attempt to weed out some of the self-publicists who have profited so handsomely from the Diana racket. And Burrell's inclusion will be no cameo role.
The move comes after the slimy toerag bragged to newspaper reporters about his earlier bravura performance under oath at the inquest.
"Since my Diana memorabilia theft trial in 2002 collapsed after the Puppet Monarch's admission she'd known all along I'd ransacked Diana's stuff I can bloody well get away with any old rubbish," Burrell chuckled today.
"Being recalled for the ultimate Royal Variety Show performance should earn me an extra $5 million in box office receipts once I sign the Hollywood contract."
Camilla is foaming at the mouth.
