Harry Redknapp and the Goblet of fire

Funny story written by The Hack

Friday, 11 January 2008

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Harry Redknapp and the Goblet of fire
A Newcastle Transfer Target

NEWCASTLE will offer Harry Redknapp £20million to be their new boss till he is sacked at the end of the season.

Billionaire and recently Professional Geordie Mike CASHley is determined to land the Portsmouth chief and will hand him a four Month deal worth £5m a year after he is sacked for not delivering, The Premiership, Carling Cup and World Peace That's a staggering FIVE GAZZILLION TIMES what he is earning now at Fratton Park.

CASHley will also:

  • Allow Redknapp to commute to work by plane allowing him to do a 6 till 2 shift at NOOCASTLE, then fly home to do his real job as a football manager at PORTSMOUTH.
  • Hand him a transfer war chest to squander on rubbish players in the usual Geordie way.
  • Pay Pompey £3m compensation for the inconvenience.

Redknapp, 60, has told close pals "I'm larfin me farkin tits off n carnt believe the farkin PayDay they're farkin frowin me".

But the deal is far from done. Brother-in-law Frank Lampard Snr said: "I know Arry really wants a Monkey Butler on Roller Skates! like in the tea adverts, i dont think that Rich Fat Geordie Bastard can give him that".

"He likes taking his dogs for a walk along the coast. Without toothless Barcodes trying to do em up the rizzer, like they do to the two legged hounds on a Saturday night in The Big Market".

Redknapp would want CASHley to organise a private jet on a day to day basis, with topless trolley dollies.

Yet Redknapp's reluctance to move to Tyneside would not go down well with the Toon Army, as they consider any outsiders and non adopted Geordies as Fukin coat wearing Poofs.

Watch this space for more news as it comes

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more