Scout Badges Re-Vamp

Funny story written by EllsBells

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

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The list of scout badges has recently been extended to 69, with the addition of a variety of more modern activity badges. Scouts can now earn badges for such diverse activities as quad bike racing, fruit salad making, and pensioner-baiting. The list has been extended as a result of an attempt to modernise the Scout movement.

Scout leader Ben Rodgers explained, "We wanted to give scouts a chance to feel relevant. Today's youth don't want to belong to an organisation that's out of touch. Who wants to be awarded a badge for tying knots in a piece of string when your peers are being awarded ASBOs? It's not really a badge of honour when it's for craft skills, is it? Kids all want the same things at heart. We think the new badge system will really appeal to a broader spectrum of children, and help ensure the future safety of our important scouting tradition."

The re-vamp will also include changing some of the requirements of existing badges, such as the Public Relations badge. Rodgers explained, "Some of the children undertaking this badge were making far too boring a statement about modern Scouting. We have now laid out requirements for making a more 'hip' statement. Presentations will be required to be delivered in rap format, and Scouts will be required to dress more trendily for the occasion, bringing some bling to the occasion should surely get the message across more effectively.

Reports that the the traditional necker and woggle are to be replaced with a burberry scarf and hoodie have been dismissed by the Scout organisation as rumour.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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