Army crackdown on users

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 14 December 2007

image for Army crackdown on users
MoD cops find yet another stash in Basra

London - (Narcotic Mess): The MoD has said that it regularly weeds out freelance drug-dealers poaching on its hard-won turf.

Last year nearly 80,000 service personnel were thrown out of the forces for infringing stringent trading standards agreements.

These relate to contractual Afghani opium production agreements, the re-cycling of seized Royal Navy narcotics contraband and "taking the piss with faked urine samples."

"Nearly 50,000 tested positive for cocaine, ecstasy, smack, crystal-meth and skunk use," Brigadier Bailey Smythe-Haggerson said in a statement today.

"This epidemic is sulying the good name of the Royal Armed Forces.

"It's an even worse farce than American baseball pandemic."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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