Robotsausage attempts world record for 'longest sentence'

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Sunday, 4 November 2007

image for Robotsausage attempts world record for 'longest sentence'
Hint: the comma and full stop buttons are next to 'M'

In the soon to be announced Awards 2007, there are some totally 'new categories' up for grabs! Robotsausage looks certain to receive 'the award for the world's longest sentence'.

Any reader of his reports will notice a complete absence of any punctuation and to fit more than 100 words in one sentence, without drawing breath, is ridiculous and nigh on impossible unless you are a Freediver!

A retired English teacher from Birmingham (who does not wish to be identified) told In Seine news "When I read the reports, I was attracted by the wacky titles, but when I read further I burst into tears - they were not tears of laughter either; they were tears of dismay at the utter abuse of English Grammar.

In fact I can remember a pupil in my class (at Yardley Comprehensive) who did the same thing - although he was a poor, polish immigrant, with dyslexia. I remember that he was called Lek Vokynoski. He was quite a character and always used profanities in such a way that made Gordon Ramsay blush. I also distinctly remember that he would pull his tongue out at girls to make them cry and make up sexually explicit, fictional names."

I told this English teacher to look at his photo in his profile and he exclaimed "Yes that's him!"

To be fair, I consulted those nice folks at and they translated his story into Polish and it came out perfect (seems Poles have not concept of punctuation), but when translated back to English, it came out the same as he'd written - word-for-word.

To be fair again, Mr 'Sausage could also have problems with his shift keys, the caps lock, comma key am the full-stop keys on his keyboard!

PC World has keyboards on special offer next week at £1.99.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more