Migrant Workers Are Better Shafted Than UK Workers Says Report

Funny story written by politicalpop

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

image for Migrant Workers Are Better Shafted Than UK Workers Says Report
Bulgarian kids look cute on news items, and they love going down mines

Alan Travesty - Outer London News Correspondent. Migrant workers are better shafted than British workers, and they are putting the 'Great' back into Great Britain to the tune of $600bn a year, according to the first government study on how well it's doing on making money.

The report for the government's Well They Would Say That Wouldn't They Forum also concludes that migrants work longer for less, therefore they earn more and pay more tax.

The combined Bean Counter study says that the arrival of half a trillion Polish and other east European workers has had "no discernible" impact on Britain's unemployed, although it hasn't helped them, and why should it? Lazy good-for-nothings.

The massive influx of workers has led to only a "modest dampening of wage growth" at the pisspoor end of the earnings league, the ones going round in 10 year old Escorts with smooth tyres. But that's not where we live.

Britain's healthy unemployment cannot be described as the mass unemployment predicted. So the cup is half full after all. Well done everybody.

Government Accountants meet today to discuss the speed with which restrictions on Romanian and Bulgarians coming to Britain can be lifted so we don't look too greedy.

Links: Romanian children happy to work up chimneys.

Links: The Gruaniad never has been the workers' newspaper.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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