Sensational news emerging tonight that seventies Brummy soap opera, Crossroads, was in fact a recruiting ground for the UK's top spying bods, MFI.
The news comes to light after confidential papers are made public under the freedom for Tooting act.
Show stalwart, Benny the loveable simpleton, played by actor Paul Henry tells us:
"That's roight Miss Doiane. I was recruited boi Jim Philby back in 1974 and was set up as a sleeper until I was activated on August 31 1997 in Paris. Geddit?
My cover story was that I was to be a driver for the Ritz Hotel. All I needed to do was cunningly disguise my identity and - voila!"
And it's long been suspected in spying circles that suave debonair David Hunter was in fact none other than the head honcho himself, James Bond.
Comedienne, Victoria Wood, was tonight playing a sell-out gig at London's Price Albert Hall but her spokesman told us:
"We're doing great business at the moment. The DVD's and T-shirts are going like hot cakes. We'll make a bloomin' mint!"
