SAN JOSE, CA -- Fifteen year old Larry Baxter desperately wanted to be cool but knew he never would be because of his unnatural attraction to the music of Canadian diva, Celine Dion, and that is why he killed himself last weekend, according to the teen's mother, Annie.
Annie Baxter is now filing a suit alleging Celine Dion's role in her son's death. "If he hadn't spent all that time locked in his room listening to that (expletive deleted) music, and would've spent his time listening to rock 'n roll, exactly what any healthy teenager should be listening to, my Larry would still be alive today."
Celine Dion's Publicist claimed that the allegations are ridiculous because Celine's music embraces love and positivity.
Annie Baxter disagrees. "That music is like corn syrup for the brain. It just rots away your mind until you can't listen to anything but Celine Dion."
An analysis of Larry Baxter's iPod showed the Celine Dion songs "Because You Loved Me," "My Heart Will Go On" and "A New Day Has Come" were on permanent repeat. Annie Baxter has hired a Private Investigator who claims that he has already discovered hidden messages in the song "My Heart Will Go On."
The hidden message appears to be Celine Dion telling the listener to "marry an older man," which doesn't appear to help Annie Baxter's lawsuit, but she is confident that more subliminal messages will be found in Dion's music.
The discovered hidden message and Celine Dion's music in general have been denounced by the People For Good Taste in Music (PFGM) but the message is being hailed as an example of excellent values by members of the Mormon Church.
