Britain has unveiled details of a new citizenship test for immigrants. They will be asked questions about history, institutions and culture - as well as committing to British social values focusing on, "being one of the lads".
The new citizenship test is expected to be introduced later this year. The details were unveiled in a 40-page draft guide that is to be given to all applicants.
The Spoof has managed to get a draft copy of one of the Questionnaire's that will be routinely given to "Immigrants" applying for British Citizenship.
Below is an example of the test which critics have described as 'Wordy and Rectangular in shape'.
- Question 1 : The present Queen has reigned since
a) 1893
b) 1952
c) 1972
d) I don't accept sovereign rule and would do my utmost to destabalise the monarchy
Question 2 : Judges are appointed by
a) MI5
b) The Prime Minister
c) The Queen
d) Les Dennis
Question 3 : When did the European Union originate?
a) Just before the first World War and just after the Boer War
b) Just before the Second World War and after the abdication of King Edward VIII
c) After the Second World War but just before the release of "Jail House rock"
d) On a Tuesday straight after Eastenders.
Question 4 : Children under 14 can work
a) In any areas, provided they have a special licence.
b) For two weeks every year.
c) If they are gun running for a Yardie gang.
d) If they have run away from home due to an alcoholic father.
Question 5 : Your home must be insured against fire, theft and accidental damage
a) Always
b) If you buy it with a mortgage
c) If you want to make a fraudulent claim to pay for a Mediterranean holiday
d) Whenever you wish
Question 6 : Guy Faukes night is an occasion when
a) British people celebrate the life of a true revolutionary.
b) British people watch firework displays at well organised public events.
c) British schoolchildren attach homemade fireworks to the tails of domestic cats and send them into outer space.
d) The Bishop of Derby
Question 7 : The Soccer 'World Cup' is
a) A festival of top class football occuring every 4 years.
b) A time when English citizens can attack minority groups at will without fear of prosecution.
c) A time of national mourning in England
d) All of the above.
Question 8 : Two Thirds of people in the UK live in
a) Owned Houses
b) Rented Houses
c) A constant state of sexual frustration
d) Caravans
Question 9 : Sex with a minor in Britain is
a) Against the Law at all times
b) Against the Law unless you are a high court judge.
c) Always to be discouraged
d) Legal in South Wales
Question 10 : Which of the following is not a proof of identity?
a) Benefits book
b) Home Office document
c) A letter from 'your best mate'
d) A photograph of you standing next to a British Policeman.
