Pressure grows to vaccinate Heather Mills in Mad Cow disease outbreak

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 11 August 2007

image for Pressure grows to vaccinate Heather Mills in Mad Cow disease outbreak
Heather Mills in a recent photo shoot

Pirbright, Slurry - (ReuterUs & Ass Mess): Pressure is growing on the government to vaccinate Heather Mills in a bid to halt the spread of Mad Cow disease.

This week the beleagured UK has reeled from the latest outpourings of Mills' nonsense about the holistic healing powers of her vegan macrobiotic diet.

DEFRA officials then became increasingly desperate that ministers have been accused of ignoring the lessons from a previous, 2001 disaster by refusing to inoculate the old cow close to infected areas in her inner circle.

A 3km zone has now been set up around Mills's new £3 million country house near Barking, Slurry which has been declared an official MI5 surveillance area, sparking fears that the disease had spread.

Yesterday the government's Chief Psychiatrist, Prof V Smart, said that Mills first caught the deadly disease from Prince Charles's former solicitor Fiona Shackleton, who herself acquired it in 1997,directly from a bite to the jugular by Margaret Thatcher.

Prof Sir Liam Donaldson, the UK's Chief Medical Officer, has ruled out emergency vaccination for the time being after Mills's lawyers cited the Inhuman Acts Rite which protects the bovine sourpuss on freedom of speech grounds.

But the Met's Serious & Disorganised Fraud Squad is having none of it and has told humanitarian aid agencies to sod off while they reel in the seasoned old fraudster under the Provisional IRA Act of 1666.

Lord Levy is a swine.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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