Let It Bea! McCartney paternity probe dropped as Mills signs gagging clause

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Let It Bea! McCartney paternity probe dropped as Mills signs gagging clause
"Let it Bea, Let it Bea, Let it Bea! There will Bea an answer, Let it Bea"

London - (Ass Mess): Paul McCartney and Heather Mills have buried the hatchet today about the paternity of their baby daughter Beatrice who was fathered by sperm harvested from California stud Larry Birkhead, father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn.

In exchange Mills has now agreed to stop smearing McCartney about his erectile dysfunction and signed a financial settlement based on her ablity to keep her mouth shut in the future.

This will give her £100,000 per annum plus an agreed 15% service charge for each year she continues to remain silent.

After five years this will rise to 20%, plus Xmas bonus.

Both parties will now assume a regular Halo! magazine photo-op timetable 'to give their daughter a semblance of happy parenting memories'.

Mills will additionally agree never to dance in pulic again or subject her daughter to similar 'cruel and unusual' displays of rabid opportunism.

Stella McCartney is 39.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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