Friends say Heather Mills duped husband Paul over baby's paternity

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 20 May 2007

image for Friends say Heather Mills duped husband Paul over baby's paternity
Bad enough having Heather for her mother....

London - (Ass Mess): The acrimonious divorce negotiations between Heather Mills and Paul McCartney took a turn for the worse today after the couple's former best man said that little Beatrice is the daughter of 'an anonymous Californian photographer' who recently fought a major paternity suit in the Bahamas over a celebrity mother's seven month little baby.

Beatrice Birkhead, to give McCartney's daughter her allegedly true legal name, is nearly four and has always regarded ex-Beatle Paul as her Dad.

Now in yet another bizarre twist, the husband of ageing Hollywood starlet Zsa Zsa Gabor has come forward and challenged the Birkhead paternity theory by saying that he and Heather 'consumated their passion' on the night of her wedding to Paul McCartney, "and subsequently on a regular basis whenever the moon was full."

Prince Frederik von Assfelt says he is willing to supply DNA samples to prove Beatrice is his daughter and challenges all other paternity contenders as post-vasectomy fantasists and scoundrels.

Mills has refused to comment on the reports which, if proven, could alter her fight for McCartney's ££££s.

"So what if he had a vasectomy in 1990?" she said today.

"Plenty of sixty-something men become dads after the chop, why shouldn't Paul?"

Stella McCartney is 39.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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