Written by Aisubeki Akiudo

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for Prescott In New Casino Scandal
Pissed as a fart.

LONDON (Defecated News) - John Prescott, former Deputy Prime Minister and ex-Heavyweight boxing champ was linked today to a new scandal involving casinos.

Tim Haler, the manager of Nottingham's Sticky's Casino, and former international online poker champ told The Spoof: "Mr Prescott came in the the casino at 11:45 last night drunk. He smelt like a mixture of old man's urine and fish, and as he staggered around the casino, he tried to put his hand down the cleaners trousers. The cleaner says he won't press charges, but is very upset."

CCTV footage of the alleged pissing about also allegedly shows Prescott trying to steal a fire extinguisher. He is seen allegedly ripping the red object off a wall and trying to hide it under his jacket - allegedly.

"As he staggered off with the extinguisher, before leaving the casino, he dropped it on his right foot and started shouting and crying out in pain." said Vikram De Souza, Head of Casino security. "He then pushed over a brochure stand calling the girls and reception 'prick-teasing slags.' Then, he stole the charity cashbox and fled, limping."

Prescott's home phone was not being answered today, but in a statement this morning Prescott denied all accusations saying it was an imposter. He was later seen in Lidl with a bandage on his right foot, and paying for his £3.49 XXXL navy tracksuit bottoms with small change.

Tony Blair has refused to comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: John Prescott

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