Dallas, Texas - (Ass Mess): The Corrupt Bastards Club fired off a series of warning salvos in Dallas, Texas today in a sequence of powerful industrial gas tank explosions timed to coincide with events in Washington DC where the House Judiciary Committee voted Contempt of Congress citations Wednesday against White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten and George Bush's ex-legal counsellor, Harriet Miers.
The Dallas explosions were initially being treated by police as 'naturally occuring events' at the Southwest Industrial Gases Inc gas wholesaler.
Authorities eagerly played down early reports that Texas legislators had been warned of impending industrial sabotage if the Contempt of Congress votes went through in DC.
As the fires raged throughout the industrial complex for over three hours, dozens of burned our cars blazed away in the searing heat of the Texan sun causing extensive local evacuation of traders and residents.
Meanwhile thousands of miles away in the frozen wastelands of Alaska the secret core cabal of the Corrupt Bastards Club rubbed its hands with glee at yet another 'Mission Successfully Accomplished' when news of the Dallas blasts came throught on the news.
Yesterday the Corrupt Bastards were fired up with anxiety in case their top plant in Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, finally blew it in his depositions before the House Committee where Senator after Senator called him a dissembling, lying, cheating, fantasy-peddling toerag scumbag covering up for the Bush family Evil Empire.
Clearly his performance yesterday was sub-standard and necessitated a little dramatic special effects today which the Dallas industrial gas blasts were able to provide.
And in London this evening sources close to British foreign intelligence service have hinted strongly that disgraced, perjurinmg ex-BP Oil CEO Lord Browne may soon be proven to be the vital kingpin in the Dallas blasts today.
This follows a series of electronic mail intercepts linking Browne to indicted VECO executives on Alaskan corruption, bribery, extortion,fraud and racketeeering charges, along with the Alaskan state legislators they hired to do their dirty.
"We've waited a long time to lynch Browne," a source said tonight.
"Hope you enjoy the spectacle when the cuffs are slammed on the UK Bastard!"
