Shell Oil ordered to suspend Alaska drilling pending Corrupt Bastards court case

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 21 July 2007

image for Shell Oil ordered to suspend Alaska drilling pending Corrupt Bastards court case
Shell Oil says it is increasingly open to revealing what its corporate archives know about Sen Ted Stevens

Anchorage, Alaska - (Ass Mess): The 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals has ordered Shell Oil to stop exploratory drilling off the North Alaska coast until the VECO corruption trials involving Alaskan politician members of the Corrupt Bastards Club are over.

THe FBI had made the request amid fears that some serious spillages from the VECO trials could taint Shell management's decisions regarding co-operation with prosecution witneses

The company's has paid out over $40 million in exploratory concession fees for its prosepcting of the Beaufort and Chukchi Seas.

And while there is no direct evidence to link the Dutch-owned oil company with VECO's current woes some historical background between the two companies relates to their mutual feting of former state legislator Bruce Weyhrauch who is facing over half a dozen corruption and bribery charges.

"We will comply with the court order," a Shell source said today, "and continue to welcome discussions with the Feds regarding what we know of the five Alaskan State legislators currently out on bail.

"As for Senator Ted Stevens, we are becoming increasingly open to the idea of researching some of our corporate archive material to see what sort of dirt we might be persuaded to dig up given that he's already 80% up to his neck on a probable VECO bribery charge anyway."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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