New Scotland Yard, London - (Ass Mess): The top suspect of the London and Glasgow Al Qaeda car bombers is a brilliant necrologist working for the NHS, police have said today.
Osama Looni Bin Camel, a 26 year old foreign chap working in the UK's NHS central necrology department, came top of his doctorate class at the Gaza Strip University in 2004 with an "excellent score" in obituary planning and has been practising in Britain since 2005.
Police have said they are searching his detached home in Staffordshire and have hinted they have found "literally thousands" of planned obituaries that Dr Camel had in the pipebomb...er pipeline.
Neighbours told the lunchtime news that Dr Camel seemed like a regular guy and was always throwing barbecue parties in his sumptuous back garden "which would explain the five hundred canisters of propane gas that's such a boon for outdoor barbecue equipment".
But anti-terror cops say Camel had been planning barbecues of an altogether different nature and masterminded a car bomb attack on a Scottish airport as well as a London nightclub.
More arrests are expected later today.
