Armed police were called to a house in Evesham today after a man was attacked by a crazed escaped hamster.
The man's daughter who let the hamster out for a little walk said " I only let him out to stretch his little legs. I didn't know that he would turn into a viscious killer omce he had a taste of sweet freedom."
A hamster expert and circus freak told us that some hamsters masquerade as these dozy little rodents but underneath that calm furry exterior lies a violent sadistic killer with a highly venomous bite that can cause death and worse.
"They normally hunt in packs, chasing down their prey through dogged determination. They then tear it to peices bit by bit making sure the victim cries out in pain until they dip their paws in the blood and smear it on their faces and run about screaming. They are real bastards. Let's catch one and kill it!"
A Doctor told us that the man was lucky to be alive. He was lucky he managed to hide under the floorboards until the hamster had calmed down.