Paul Gascoigne Rushed to Hospital with Perforated Head

Funny story written by carina-eta

Monday, 28 May 2007

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Gazza was repeatedly kicked for crying in the world Cup Final

Former England footballer Paul Gascoigne has been rushed to hospital to undergo emergency surgery for a perforated head, his agent has said today.

It is understood that Gascoigne was celebrating his 40th birthday party with friends (he has no family to speak of) when his head became perforated during an "incident."

Police today declined to comment on the circumstances surrounding the perforation of the fallen stars head, but are believed to have removed several guns and martial arts weapons from Gascoigne's home.

A hospital spokesman commented this evening, "A 40 year old male, who was a 39 year old male just an hour ago, has been admitted with a perforated head, which has been successfully treated in this case despite the perforation entering the head at the temple and exiting at the back of the head it completely missed the brain and the patient will make a full recovery."

Gascoigne won 57 caps for England and scored 10 goals, but has become a fat wife-beater since retiring from top-flight football.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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