Abramovich & Glazers To Switch Clubs?

Funny story written by Daiving Crapp

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

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Toilet paper in the world of Roman Abramovich

According to embryonic reports emerging from Manchester and London, Roman Abramovich and the Glazer family are to switch clubs in an unprecedented swap deal.

When approached by a reporter outside Stamford Bridge, Roman Abramovich, with the help of his interpreter Andriy Shevchenko, announced that a deal was being negotiated between the Glazer family and himself over a swap deal between both clubs.

However, unlike a player swap, this unprecedented swap deal involved both clubs owned by the billionaires, which will come into effect on the 1st of July once the red tape and other formalities have been completed.

"I feel that this deal would benefit this great club as we would finally be able to spend enormous sums of money on players that we want to add to our squad, just like Chelsea have done for the last 4 years" said David Gill when interviewed by reporters outside United's Carrington training ground.

The deal, which would see Abramovich swapping his Blue jersey for his Red one and vice versa, will mean that a reversal in fortunes, both financially and based on merit, is on the cards.

However, there are no plans as to whether there would be any managerial changes, as Chelsea would retain the services of Jose Mourinho while United will still be under the command of their old warhorse, Sir Alex Ferguson.

"Both these managers have done miraculous things with their respective clubs over the years that they have been in charge and we feel that it would be best to stick with a winning formula" said the chairmen of both clubs, David Gill & Peter Kenyon.

The controversial move is bound to stir up mixed feelings in both camps, with Manchester United finally able to spend without the restrictions imposed by the Glazer's leveraged buyout of the club in May 2005, and Chelsea now being faced with the prospect of being under mountains of debt as a result of being the product of another leveraged buyout by the same Glazer family.

Whatever the case, both squads would be kept as unchanged as possible, although the reversal of fortunes would now mean that Manchester United would be able to bid for the world's best players whereas Chelsea would only be able to buy players who are within their soon-to-be severely restricted budgets.

It is going to be an interesting summer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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