Government heavyweight Priti Patel has organised her own leaving do, involving drinks in a fashionable nightclub, followed by an afternoon of fox hunting, some light-hearted bullying of some striking workers, and then an hour of pulling legs and wings from insects, but it seems that everyone will be busy.
'I would have gone' said an unnamed friend 'but as hell is yet to freeze over, I won't be going.'
Another assistant said 'I wanted to go, but then I thought having a rictus grin on my face for another few hours in her company, and not being paid for it was just a step too far.'
Someone else said 'Nah, I won't be there. She is leaving, and I am very happy about that.'
Michael Madeup simply said 'Priti Patel? Oh her? Is she leaving? Tuesday for the leaving do? Will it be on television? Will I be expected to say something? Will I be paid? No? Then I won't be there, sorry.'
